Do try to give as much practical help as possible, the illness can make the mother feel extremely tired and even small tasks will take up a lot of her energy.

Do encourage her to rest as much as possible.

Do encourage her to see her GP/Midwife or Health Visitor if she has not done so.

Do encourage and praise her when she makes an effort, remind her how well she is doing.

Do remind her that she will recover.

Do let the mother express her fears and concerns without showing shock or amazement.

Do stay with the mother if she is afraid of being alone, this is a temporary phase of the illness and will pass.

Do try to be patient, there will be good and bad days. Try not to cope alone, discuss your own concerns and feelings with someone and accept any offers of help.

Don’t force the mother to do anything that she does not want to do, added pressure will make her feel worse.

Don’t point out anything she may not have done i.e. cleaning up, unfinished jobs, not taking care of herself.

Don’t nag or argue, try to remain patient, stress makes the illness worse.

Don’t worry if your partner seems to not want you near. Many mothers with PND loose their libido (sex drive) this will return when she has recovered. Offer plenty of hugs and support. It will be tough but when you have got through this together your relationship will be strengthened.

Don’t ever say “pull yourself together” or “what have you got to be depressed about” or “you don’t know how lucky you are”. PND is an illness and no one would choose to feel this way.